Insight & Inspiration: All That We Learn in the Process is What Matters Most
Introduction: How to use “The Parenting Plan Handbook”
PART I
YOU NEED A PARENTING PLAN
Insight & Inspiration: Creating Family Ever After
1: Creating a Parenting Plan
- Insight & Inspiration: Your Promise to Your Children
- Divorce Doesn’t Delete a Family
- When Do You Need a Parenting Plan?
- What Does a Parenting Plan Do?
- Protecting Children from a “Bad Divorce”
- Managing Triggers – Soothing Strong Emotions
- Separating Spouse Mind from Parent Mind
- Qualities of a Good Divorce…What’s BEST for Kids!
- A New Model
- Journal Moment
2: Keeping Kids Central
- Insight & Inspiration: What it Means to be Co-Parent Executive Officers
- When Should We Tell the Kids?
- Everyone’s Grieving
- Strong Co-Parenting relieves Guessing and Stressing for Kids
- Facing Serious / Complex Challenges
- When a Co-Parent won’t Cooperate
- Prescribe a Healthy Process
- Journal Moment
- Parenting Plan Worksheet: Basic Information
3: Building Your Team
- Insight & Inspiration: Professionals Dealing with Divorce Have a Moral Duty to Help
- Self-Determination—the Ability and Right to Control Your Life
- A Holistic Approach to Divorce
- Is Collaborative Practice a Good Choice for Your Family
- Divorce Team Members
- When and How Do You Select a Lawyer?
- Journal Moment
4: Creating Your Co-Parenting Goals
- Insight & Inspiration: The Impact of Our Words
- Building Blocks of a Healthy Co-Parenting Relationship
- When Trust has been Destroyed
- The Business of Co-Parenting—a Glossary of Terms
- Journal Moment 4
- Parenting Plan Worksheet: Co-Parenting Guiding Principles
5: Creating a Temporary Duty-Parent Schedule
- Insight & Inspiration: Suzy’s Story
- Creating a Temporary Duty-Parent Schedule
- What is “Bird Nesting” and How Does it Work
- Two-Home Parent Skills
- How to Successfully Prepare for and Manage Your Co-Parent Business Meetings
- Co-Parent Business Meeting Checklist
- Journal Moment
PART II
DESIGNING YOUR RESIDENTIAL SCHEDULE
Insight & Inspiration: My Parents Had a Great Divorce
6: Designing your Residential Schedule
- Insight & Inspiration: “Can You Help Me Please? I’m Not Sure What’s Going On…”
- Model Healthy Relationships
- When Nothing feels Right about being Away form Your Children
- What to Consider When Formulating a Daily Residential Schedule
- Residential Schedules for Infants and Teens and Kiddos in Between
- Including the Voices of Your Children in Your Parenting Plan
- Journal Moment
7: Residential Schedules for School-Age Children
- Insight & Inspiration: Resting into “Enough Time” with Your Kids
- Utilize the Proper Parenting Plan for Your Jurisdiction
- “The River” or Rhythm of a Daily Residential Schedule
- Primary and Shared Residential Schedules
- Right of First Refusal
- Journal Moment
- Parenting Plan Worksheet: Daily Residential / Parenting Schedule
- Insight & Inspiration: Strong Co-Parenting is Good for Your Kids’ Health
8: Summer Vacation and Vacations with Parents
- Insight & Inspiration: Make Summer Fun
- Get out the Paper Calendar for Summer Planning
- How to Manage Conflicting Priorities
- Journal Moment
- Parenting Plan Worksheet: Summer Schedule
9: Scheduling School Breaks
- Insight & Inspiration: Your Desire for Peace is Greater than Your Desire to be “Right”
- School Breaks Offer Another Option for Travel or Stay-cation
- Journal Moment
- Parenting Plan Worksheet: School Breaks
10: Scheduling Holidays and Celebrations
- Insight & Inspiration: Holidays are for the Carefree Child in Us All
- Holidays are a Time of Tradition
- Journal Moment
- Parenting Plan Worksheet: Holidays
11: Scheduling Special Occasions
- Insight & Inspiration: Respecting Your Child’s Relationships with Others
- The Value of an “Old-Fashioned” Calendar
- Journal Moment
- Parenting Plan Worksheet: Special Occasions
PART III
TRANSITIONS, COMMUNICATION & DECISION-MAKING
Insight & Inspiration: Divorce Transition Can Be the Doorway to a Better You
12: Child-Centered Transitions—Smoothing the Wrinkles in Two-Home Family Life
- Insight & Inspiration: Put Your Feet in Your Children’s Shoes
- Child-Centered Transitions
- Transitioning the Children’s Belongings
- Insight & Inspiration: Transitions are Tough; Love with Your Whole Heart
- When Face-to-Face Transitions Don’t Work
- Transition Communication Checklist
- Journal Moment
- Parenting Plan Worksheet: Transportation Arrangements
13: Communication Protocols—Sharing Information and Staying Connected
- Insight & Inspiration: “I’m just a Kid!”
- Co-Parents’ Communication Guidelines
- Manage Emotions and Communicate Thoughtfully
- Communicating with Your Kids
- Journal Moment
- Parenting Plan Worksheet: Possible Communication Provisions
14: Decision Making—Parents as Co-Parent Executive Officers
- Insight & Inspiration: Two Things Kids Hate
- Parental Decision Making
- Clear Communication is Key to Joint Decision Making
- Journal Moment
- Parenting Plan Worksheet: Decisions about Children
15: Paying for Children’s Needs and Activities—Extraordinary Expenses, Kids and Money
- Insight & Inspiration: Raising Your Children “Together” Apart
- How Do Your Parenting Plan Provisions and Financial Considerations Intertwine?
- When Parents Fight about Money
- Who Pays
- Journal Moment
PART IV
CHANGES, CONFLICT RESOLUTION, AND CO-PARENTING
Insight & Inspiration: With Love Anything Is Possible
16: Change—Short-term, Expected and Unexpected, and Long-term, Significant Change
- Insight & Inspiration: The Most Important Problems in Life We Must Outgrow
- Change is the One Thing You Can Be Sure Of
- When Travel Impacts Your Residential Schedule
- When Should You Modify Your Parenting Plan?
- Journal Moment
- Parenting Plan Worksheet: Making Changes to Your Parenting Plan
17: Conflict Resolution—Setting Priorities, Solving Problems
- Insight & Inspiration: Mindful Self-Care for You and Your Children
- Establishing Priorities in the Residential Schedule
- The Importance of a Conflict Resolution Provision
- Healthy Conflict is Inevitable; Toxic Conflict is Traumatic for Kids
- Journal Moment
- Parenting Plan Worksheet: Priorities under the Residential Schedule
- Parenting Plan Worksheet: Conflict Resolution
18: Co-Parenting Guidelines—Successful Co-Parenting for Your Children’s Future
- Insight & Inspiration: Turning Mistakes into a Wonderful Opportunity for Growth
- Other Provisions to Include in Your Parenting Plan
- Building a “Blended Family Plan”
- Journal Moment
- Parenting Plan Worksheet: Possible Co-Parenting Guidelines
19: Co-Parenting Alone—What if Your Co-Parent Won’t Co-Parent?
- Margy’s Story
- Journal Moment
Insight & Inspiration: As Haddaway asks, “What is Love?”
ADDENDA
- On-line Resources for Residential Schedule Patterns
- On-line Co-Parenting and Parenting Planning Resources and Publications
- Rules of Good Faith in Collaborative Practice
- Contributors
- Acknowledgements
- Author Biographies
- Author Contact Information