Family-Centered Parenting Plan - Coach Mediate Consult

Keeping Kids Central, Not Caught in the Middle

by Karen Bonnell & Elise Buie

The Guide that Helps Parents Shift from Fighting for Parental Rights
to Fighting Together for What’s Right for Kids!

Deciding to separate or divorce? You have so many questions at this stage. At the top: “What’s best for our kids?” “How do we make sure they’re not harmed by our separation?” As an expert team (attorney and mental health professional), we have gathered many of the most pressing questions parents frequently ask and provided essential answers. We’re here to help you get started on a path to successful, healthy, child-centered two-home family living. Start here and know that there are many more non-adversarial, conflict-reducing resources just waiting for you, your co-parent and your children as you make this transition.

A Message from the Authors

Today’s separating / divorcing parents want to ensure that their children are solidly supported through their family restructuring. The process you choose will directly impact the level of conflict that ensues, the emotional and financial expense, and the long-term impacts for children. Choosing a process that keeps your children’s sense of family and your co-parenting relationship central is key!!

Whether you work with highly skilled mediators, Collaboratively trained attorneys, or pull together a professional team that best suits the needs of your situation, choose wisely. Learn what you can about how best to restructure your family for a healthy two-home future.

Meet the Authors

Karen Bonnell

Elise Buie
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A Note to Parents

An Intimate Partnership May End.
Parenting is “Until Death Do You Part.”

Now that you’ve decided to end your intimate partnership, your job is to figure out how to manage the complex feelings involved in letting go of each other personally while continuing a constructive ongoing relationship as parents. There are many metaphors for this transition. We describe the process as “uncoupling” your adult relationship while strengthening a “business-like” relationship for raising your children together living apart.

You’ll be asking a lot of yourself (and your co-parent) as you grieve and recover from the stress of the inevitable changes that come with restructuring family life from one home into two. Be gentle with yourself. And be persistent in your effort to let go of thoughts that precipitate unsettled emotions. Your children’s post-divorce adjustment will be correlated with your ability to round the corner out of anger and despair into equanimity. Make that your North Star!

Choose supportive professionals, family members, and friends who encourage and join you in holding a vision of a positive future where you and your co-parent work well together to provide what your children need as they continue to grow up strong and resilient. Your budding confidence in a positive future trickles down to your children and becomes their anchor during this sea of change.

Table of Contents

This power-packed 55 pp booklet answers these important questions:

What is Co-Parenting?

What About Parallel Co-Parenting?

What’s Best for Kids?

Do the Kids Have a Say?

Does Past Parenting Predict the Future?

What are the Important Two-Home Family Parenting Skills?

Primary and Shared Parenting Plans—What Does the Research Tell Us?

What Does it Take to Co-Create Your Children’s Parenting Plan?

How Does a Child’s Growth and Development Inform Residential Schedules?

Can Residential Schedules Change Over Time?

Do Teens Get to Decide Their Residential Schedule?

Overnights or “Parenting Time”—What Matters?

Do All the Kids Need to Follow the Same Residential Schedule?

Why Consider Short-Term and Long-Term Holiday Plans?

How Do You Ensure Child-Centered Transitions?

How Do You Communicate Constructively?

What is Joint Decision Making?

How Will You Resolve Conflict?

Do We Need a Co-Parent Coach or Parenting Coordinator to Help us?

Does Your Attorney Find Workable Solutions and Diminish Conflict?

When is it OK to Start Dating Again?

Why Do We Warn Parents About Social Media (Sexting and Porn)?

How Will You Build a Parenting Coalition When a Stepparent Enters the Children’s Lives?

Appendix

Child-Centered Residential Schedule Considerations

Tri-Annual Co-Parent Business Meeting Checklist

Residential Transition Report Between Co-Parents

Need resources & help with your Parenting Time Schedule?GO